Divorce is difficult on everyone involved. The anger, the mistrust, and the hurt feelings are all parts of the process. And while the pain affects everyone, it can be especially difficult on your children. As a parent, it is up to you to help build the bridge between you and your children.

But sometimes, figuring out how to connect, or re-connect with your kids after divorce can be tricky. It might not look like you envision, or the struggle is more volatile than anticipated. But there are actions you can take to make this difficult scenario a bit easier.

Ways to Connect with Your Children After Divorce

  • DivorceBe intentional- In an ideal scenario, you can meet with your kids in person. Should distance be a part of the equation, use Facetime, text, and other forms of communication.
  • Work with your former spouse – As much as possible, be civil in your interactions with your ex-spouse. Your kids will notice, and it will affect how they interact with you. Don’t make negative or derogatory comments.
  • Find a common interest – Whether it is Legos, skateboarding, a book you read together, or some other activity, finding common ground will give you a reason to connect and build on.
  • Let them plan the visit – Don’t always be the one planning the activity with your kids. Yes, it is good to have a plan, but your kids might surprise you with their ideas. They will often have far more creative ideas for fun stuff to do.
  • Start fresh – Don’t try to do things like you did before the divorce. Look for new activities or traditions for each visit. It could always be taking a silly selfie, starting a journal, or getting/having a specific food. It doesn’t matter what the activity is. The important thing is that you are consistent in doing it.
  • Keep the ages of your child(ren) in mind – When planning a visit, be aware of your child’s time needs. For instance, a toddler or preschooler usually does better with a short visit. A school-age child can handle multiple night stays. A teen often needs more flexibility due to school, sports, or work responsibilities. Forcing your kids to visit and connect based on your preferences will cause friction.
  • Ask for help – Don’t be afraid to admit you need someone there to help mediate between you and your kids. Having a non-biased third party can often help you navigate this new relationship status and find ways to reconnect with your children.

Connect and Communicate After Divorce

Keeping in touch with your children and maintaining or rebuilding your relationship with them can be challenging- especially if you don’t have a safe space to visit them. If this is part of the issue, then reach out to Family Alliance Services. We have the space you need and the personnel available to help you. Whether it’s supervised visits, knowledgeable staff, or just a meeting/drop-off location, we are here to help you connect with your children. Reach out to us today.