If you are having court-ordered supervised visits, you may feel like having a future relationship with your child(ren) is impossible.  But this doesn’t have to be the case. There are a variety of things you can do to re-establish a relationship with your children.  So, rather than seeing your current situation as a negative, see it as a time of growth.  Building a lasting bond with your child is a lifelong adventure.  A court-supervised visit is an opportunity to rebuild a relationship and ensure your child(ren) knows that the current circumstances are not their fault.

13 Ways to Rebuild a Bond with Your Child During a Supervised Visitation

Bonding1. Never miss a visit.

Remember, this is about building your child’s trust.  Being a no-show says they aren’t important.  If transportation is an issue, resolve this before the visit.  Don’t wait until the last minute and risk needing to cancel.

2. Don’t be late.

Ideally, show up at least 15 minutes early as this shows that you are eager to see your child.

3. If you take meds, take them as directed.

Also, do not show up under the influence of any drug or alcohol, or with the smell of it on your person.  Not only will this work against you in court, but it will affect your visitation.

4. Take time to get to know your child’s interests.

Talk about school projects, friends, hobbies, etc. Remember, kids want to know you care about them.  Bringing them gifts is great, but showing you are listening is a must. Keep all your attention focused on your child.

5. Don’t bad-mouth your significant other to your children or the supervisor.

It solves nothing and can make you look unwilling to take responsibility for your part in what has happened.

6. Always show your child affection, care, love, and respect.

Children model what they see. If you consistently show your children that they matter to you, they will be more open to building bridges.

7. Give encouragement about specific actions.

Talk about things they are struggling with and share how you might approach the scenario.

8. Let them know their feelings matter.

Be open- as much as appropriate- and validate their feelings.

9. Ask open-ended questions whenever possible.

This lets them share their thoughts and feelings and opens a dialog.

10. Playing is a great way to connect with your kids.

Bring a book to read or a game to play with your children. Many meeting centers will have art materials, games, books, and other resources available to help facilitate your visits.

11. Find the right place.

If your visits allow you to visit other places, endeavor to go to interactive locations such as the park, zoo, museums, etc.

12. Remember that you are always being evaluated by the supervisor.

Showing positive parenting skills can result in having unsupervised visits.

13. Leave negative emotions outside!

Whether it’s anger, stress, work problems, or something else, these are not your child’s burden.  You want every supervised visit to be a positive experience that is focused solely on your child and rediscovering your relationship.

Rebuilding a relationship with your child or teen can be done.  But it will take work.  If you need help learning how you can talk to one of the staff at Family Alliance Services.  Our staff understands how important your family is to you and wants to see you establish a healthy, supportive, relationship.  It might not happen overnight, but with persistence and consistency over time, you can rebuild your relationship.